The Rat Race (The Race for Normalcy)

It’s astounding how the choices we make, both in the short, and long-term, affect us greatly. It’s quite ironic that the smallest action causes gargantuan consequences, that could haunt you for a long time. Now that I think about it, it’s not really worth it, really.

We all have our neuroses and insecurities, and we’ll all out here just trying to seek validation that we’re not absolutely crazy. Life is just one competition to be ‘normal’. Everything, from society to the media, furthers the belief that life should be one mad dash to normality. That we should all try our hardest to refine and alter ourselves and our behaviours to be deemed ‘normal’, and so we can finally be accepted by the system of misinformation that has power over all things.

In a similar way, smaller decisions (by which I mean, decisions on a far smaller scale – something more personal) can still affect us, and bother us right to the proverbial edge of oblivion. However, it’s a recurring trait of ‘nice’ people that no-one wants to offend anyone either. I’d say it’s a rather prominent precept of human nature that we all like to be liked; we like people to like us, and we like to be perceived by others as a likeable person. Someone can make a mistake, easily, with the largest of consequences, and be completely oblivious to it. People are certainly weird. In an ideal world, I think it’d be best to just be more honest with each other. If someone messes up, tell them. Let them know, so they don’t succumb to the wraith of the same bad mistakes again, and get stuck in a downward spiral of bad decisions. I guess that no one really wants to be ‘that person’ though, although I think it’s perfectly acceptable to retain your reputation in someone’s eyes while giving them some constructive criticism. Don’t forget to offer praise, however. We’re all neurotic, deep down, and we all need validation of some sort that we do retain some semblance of normalcy. It’s nice, at least for me, but it’s becoming increasingly apparent to me that I’m a lot more neurotic than most, and that I hold slightly archaic views about some things.

I’m just doing the very best I can, to be the best person I can be. That’s always been my mantra, and I hope it always will be. Although, sadly, I do have my own doubts about myself. Contrary to what people think, I’m not really that confident a person. Outgoing, yes. Confidence, I struggle with. We’re all stuck in this rat race, with our approximate destination charted only as ‘sanity’. Acceptance. This is a funny word. Its definition varies from person to person. Some people are concerned with impressing everyone, while others just want to impress their peers, and the ones they love. I think I fall into the latter group, as I’ve got absolutely no time at all for rude people, like those I encountered when selling the Big Issue. Still, I do have a tendency to be masochistic to a ridiculous degree, but I guess that might just define me as a person, and explain why I believe the things I do, and why I see everything in a certain way. Yes, I think that’s it. It’s the race that drives me. Regrettably, it makes me very sad to think that I’m going to spend the rest of my life poring over every social encounter, every gesture, and every word of my interactions, looking for somewhere I messed up, and looking for something I could do better. Indeed, even in situations that turn out well, I still repeat the same, stolid process of over-analysation, and find one little thing to hate myself for. But, you know what? I wouldn’t change that for the world.


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